(23) toiled and troubled

June Renew: Day 23

Weight: 234.2

I don’t pretend to know it all, but there’s a lot of things I simply don’t understand. “I don’t get it” has become sort of my catchphrase around the office. People get a kick out of it, since there’s so much of our daily routine that just defies logic. But we press on, doing what we need to do in order to let the people know what else is going on outside of their own little bubbles. It’s a struggle, but we do a good job to tell the news fairly and to the point.

And the great thing is everyone on my team is on the same page, at least when it comes to the show. I don’t know in depth anyone else’s personal politics, but we know what matters most to our host, and we do what s/he wants done. Even if there’s somehow a moral disagreement here or there with stories, we can step outside our own emotional shells and get the job done. It’s a good skill to have. The rest of America hasn’t really been able to crack that thin veneer that’s keeping a lid on the exceptional worldview.

Just look at the news that came down today. The Supreme Court of the United States overturned a century-old New York law that made NYers seek “proper cause” in order to conceal carry a lawfully-obtained firearm. I’ve been a years-long process in order to even get a license in New York City (a long and expensive process) and I didn’t even feel like jumping through the alternate hoop that would have granted me a conceal carry. Either way, the ruling sounds good for those who wish to, again, lawfully carry in the state. But by the way the Mayor, the Governor, and even the President himself acted, you’d think SCOTUS just allowed mandatory biweekly baby seal clubbing.

But then it hit me: These people are simply in an alternate reality. And it’s just not my job to pop their worldview.

This is becoming the ultimate “live and let live” scenario for me. I’ve always maintained to just go with my gut and do what I believe is right. And I’ve played the game for long enough. I’ve scrubbed away all the tears and shame and grime and anger that’s built up over the past couple of years. Now, I no longer wish to live in the world they’re trying to tell me is best for me. I’d rather chase the one God put here for us. If you don’t, that’s fine. That’s not my globe to sit and spin in.

I’ve found a good comfortable spot to be. I see the writing on the wall. When one bubble pops, I always seem to land in another. And this one seems far more long-lasting than before. But a lot of people are left flailing when their film runs out. Some people deserve it. Most don’t. I’ll pray for those who feel lost when out of their comfort zone, as the collective bubble that’s been hanging on by a thread for years finally explodes. Because it’s coming. How could it not, at this point? Do you see it all falling apart in front of you? How much longer can this conceivably go?

If you need me, I’ll be blowing in the wind.