28) lighter rail

My December to Remember: Day 28

Today was a better day than yesterday. That’s because I wanted to have a good day. I’ve been nothing but a bundle of frustration and woe that I just wanted to make sure things would be better for myself. I don’t have time to transport the entirety of the world’s problems on my shoulders. Please forgive me. I had no idea you had asked all this of me.

I’m just trying to find the good in all this madness. I don’t even feel angry anymore. It’s strange how it seemingly changed overnight, but perhaps it was just building to this all along. I felt proud of the work I did today, and I was happy to keep producing and shoveling coal long after being officially off the clock. Taking pride in things, no matter how small or how much they’re not your exact passion, can really help vault you to the next place you want to be.

It’s as though whatever happens next is the exact piece of track needed to push my train full steam ahead. I’m not slowing down. Each and every step is just as important as the last, and it’s charting a course I know will come to a fruitful end.

I’ve just not yet been informed of my destination. And I haven’t decided if I want to see a good ending or a bad one. But I think if I keep making the conscious choice to turn things around, there’s no way this ends in a wreck. I’ve been working on the railroad for far too long to let it all go to waste now. No more delaying the departure. We’re all finally on time.

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