12) what the hex

My December to Remember II: Day Twelve

News: Massive caravan of illegal migrants captured on camera passing into El Paso overnight.
DOJ has access to Mar-a-Lago documents after judge denies Trump’s Special Master request.
Twitter Files round five shows many Twitter employees push back on internal discussions saying Pres Trump ‘incited violence’ after January 6th, but employees made the decision to ban his account anyway.

“I think we’re cursed today,” my senior producer texted to me this morning, moments before we went to air. There were three of us working from home, with only one line producer there to line the entire show. Our brand new associate producer, who started today, suddenly didn’t have access to our rundowns. And our normal director was off today. I tried to reassure her with this text: “lol i’m cursed always so what else is new”

It did little to satiate things, though. But it did get me thinking. Because I said something similar to my mother just a few days ago. “I think I’m cursed,” I told her. If you asked her, she won’t remember, but there does seem to be something following me that’s keeping me in a perpetual state of confusion about everything.

Curses, foiled again.

There’s a Masonic temple in my hometown. It’s right smack dab in the center of town. I won’t post the photos I took of it recently, as I don’t feel like doxing my family who still lives there. But I always thought it was creepy. I asked my mom about it as a kid because I thought it was a church, even though I never saw anyone go in. The Masonic square and compass with the all-seeing eye hangs on a sign posted outside the chained double doors. The whole thing looks unused. I give it the evil eye every time I’m home and I pass it. And I swear on everything, I remember seeing that exact square and compass symbol on papers in my grandfather’s study.

I’m not saying he was involved in anything bad. He was a good man. A World War II Veteran. A hero, in fact. Bronze star recipient. Loved by the community. Our family’s patriarch. An incredibly kind soul. I loved him dearly. And I may honestly be misremembering things. However, I feel like that symbol has haunted me and my family for generations, and I just can’t pinpoint why.

I’m talking about this thing, whatever it is.

At this point, I don’t know where any of his records are. So I’m afraid I’ll never get any conformation of what my childhood mind tells me. I could just be reacting to all the conspiracy content I’ve seen pop up since 2017. I did ask my father if my grandfather was a Mason, and he said no. He also noted that the Masons did a lot of good in the world anyway. I don’t know if that’s true, but I want to believe that not all is as bleak and evil as I’m making it. But I did find it a little odd that there was also a Masonic Temple in the next town over from where I stayed in New Hampshire. Like a devilish shadow, it was following me, and found me as I tried to find peace.

I know something isn’t right about all this, and I’m wondering just how much I’m letting whatever was incarnated long ago affect my life in the present.

Toiled and troubled. Literally.

Just days ago, I said here that I’m not special, even though I used to think I was. I’m not magic, although in a stoner setting I fancy myself a witchy kinda woman. But nothing happens on the outside because of me. It was a nice thought, but it was just mental masturbation. In actuality, things happen because they’re supposed to happen, as that’s how I’m letting my story unfold. My personal one I do have control over, even though sometimes I don’t think I do. Whatever happened before my time has no power over me. Or at least that’s what I have to keep remembering.

It’s hard, though. Sometimes I see such insane news stories, I wonder what kind of nonsense they’re concocting, and why they’ve decided to choose evil. I mean, how humane is it to allow constant human trafficking across our southern border? And to be in complete denial about it really signals something inhuman at play here. We’re more comfortable condemning the country instead of casting good spells to make everyone prosper.

Well, that’s just not me. Whatever powers I may have, I’m going to use them toward the betterment of the world. Whatever ending I see coming, it’s not about death and destruction. It’s about renewal and rebirth. As I keep saying, it’s all getting found out. We can see their witchery unfolding in front of our eyes, therefore, its gravitas no longer has any effect on us. When you get wise to someone’s game, you see through the hexes much easier.

By the way, our show was fine today, so whatever ‘curse’ was there wasn’t a very good one. Take that, our competitor.

I’m one of the good ones.

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