June Renew: Day 3
Weight: 234.2
I don’t know, guys. Is it really that hard to tell the truth these days? I know we can’t always just blurt out any old thing that comes to mind, but hasn’t anyone been told that the moment you’re actually genuine and sincere about what’s going on, the better you feel? Why does it feel like everyone “out there” is simply full of shit to me? Am I the asshole for feeling like I’m being completely authentic and not lying to myself about my limitations?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m not as alone in this thinking as I feel I am sometimes. It’s coming time for me to accept that there are plenty of people out there who are being sincere, even if I don’t always understand their motives. They aren’t acting in the manner I would, but they’re doing so in the manner for them. Maybe it is authentic. Maybe they do believe they’re on the right side of history, no matter how unfathomable it seems to me. And maybe it’s not fair of me to judge how another person conducts his or herself.
I don’t know. I just want everyone to live their best happy and peaceful life without the threat of being fucked with by assholes who think they know what’s best. That’s all I see happening right now. And there’s not much I can singularly do. I’m watching the train crash in slow motion and I’m just praying people wise up and get off the car before the flames engulf them too.
I don’t know. Maybe some people deserve to implode in on themselves. Maybe stepping on someone else’s shoulders to save yourself from drowning has its own consequences in the hereafter. Maybe lying with impunity catching up to you. All I know is that it couldn’t be me. I can’t go there. I don’t want to go there. Perhaps it’s just not in my nature. And maybe it’s not my job to save everyone whose nature it is.
I should probably work on giving myself credit for the things I do know. It’s a lot more than I think.