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April Awakening: Day 23

I went to a spy museum today in NYC. I had wanted to go for a while. It was fun. Interesting stuff. They really drive it home how much we’re being watched at all times. It took you through a series of how people have ‘cracked the code’ for decades now, beginning with the Enigma and Alan Turing, the betrayal of FBI Agent Robert Hanssen, and Edward Snowden’s exposure of government surveillance. I had fun. It was interactive as well, as you played games all throughout the exhibits to ultimately determine what kind of spy you’d be. That happened through personality test questions, to surveillance observations, and a game where you’d crack the Enigma code to help an official safely get through Nazi-occupied France. Me? I’d be a surveillance officer. “Have you ever considered working for the FBI?” one game asked me, as I laughed. Because yes, yes I have. If only to bring some much-needed clarity to an organization I once thought was the be all, end all for justice in this country.

I said once before I’d never be blackpilled, but I’ve definitely lost a lot of faith in government institutions that are supposed to work for the people. It’s been a slow burn, but the more I thought about it, the more I feel there’s such wastefulness going on. There’s myriad departments within departments within departments that they don’t even tell you about; people who are unelected by the people and basically control the entirety of the world. Who knows what kind of knowledge they have on everyone, and what kinds of nefarious deeds they can get up to. When they have unfettered clearance, they can practically do anything to anyone and everyone. They may even set up events to siphon our energy and make us fight for causes they think will lead to the betterment of a new world. It frustrates me to think about, because if I were part of that system, I’d want to be on the side of righteousness rather than deceit.

But I am part of the system. I’m on the inside of the news media. And recently, it dawned on me just how much I’ve been part of the problem. Now, I hope to change things around, and this time be part of the solution, too.

I say “the problem” not as I’m peddling misinformation. I’m speaking broadly in the sense of sensationalism. I rip on the DailyMail all the time for it, but I’ve definitely written scripts in ways I knew that were overblown. We’ve gone with stories that I knew were mere distractions from a bigger issue. And sometimes the position we took was just flat out insane. But I went with it. I can scribe my name to it. And you can be damn sure I push back every chance I get. Because that’s all I can do. I’m not an executive producer nor a senior. I don’t have full authority, but I have a voice. And that’s all I want to do; be someone from within who can help institute change. Real change. I just want to do what’s right. I just want to get to the truth. I want to be accurate and tell the people what’s going on. I don’t want to benefit by stepping on other people’s necks. I have my role to play and that’s all I can do. Even if I were an FBI agent, I’d like to think I’d help put an end to the corruption that has had no problem gaining a foothold in our institutions for centuries.

I know I’m self-aggrandizing. I know I’m looking at life through rosy-colored glasses. I know I’m just one person. But I see a lot of dishonesty from my vantage point. Journalists have to piece things together in order to break a story, and I see the biggest one of them all coming. I can’t tell you what it is yet because I don’t know either. But I see a crumbling from within that may wipe the whole dirty system right off the map.

At least that’s what I hope. I’m only one lady, I can’t do it all myself. But I suppose I can be the hero in my own little spy movie. If I ever get around to writing it, that is.

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