February Focus: Day Twenty-Two
I hate when things don’t turn out right. I go into things with positive attitudes, and then one little errant thought seems to throw everything askew. It happened the other day on the way to work. I sat there in the back of the Uber thinking, “Hmm, what if that horrible song I hate that always seems to come on actually comes on?” Sure enough it was the next song. I was so mad I actually asked the driver to change the station. I’m not going to reveal it lest I give you an earworm. But that wasn’t the end of it. Later during the workday, I sat at my desk putting together graphics and thought, “Hmm, wouldn’t it be weird if the graphics engine preview just stopped working?” And sure enough, it did. It wasn’t enough where we had to call IT, but it was an obnoxious inconvenience before I had to go down to the control room. And then it happened again today, as I was having a pretty good time at work getting all the things done I needed to do, when I asked myself, “Hmm, what if all this just went to sh*t?” Lo and behold, your soothsayer of awful struck again, as a lot went wrong and a lot of misunderstandings happened. Details are unnecessary, meetings were had, and I just didn’t feel like trying for the rest of the day.
Sometimes days are like this. I was getting into a good flow of sectioning out these entries, but I can’t do it today. I suppose if I was one of those strong empowered corporate woman, I could do the mind over matter thing and move past it. But no. I’m not going to. And I don’t know why I feel like I’m expected to, either.
I’m not always going to knock it out of the park, and I’m not always going to have the best thoughts for myself. There’s no positive message to come away on this, either. Some days I’d simply rather run away with the bad and let the maladaptive thoughts win and wish for better days tomorrow. This wasn’t a bad day, just an off day, “and Mercury isn’t even in retrograde,” so says one of my co-workers. Perhaps I’ll be back in form tomorrow. Perhaps not. Perhaps it’s best not to overthink it and just get ready to write for another day.