February Focus: Day Four
Back when I got bioweaponed by the coof, I spent an entire day on the couch watching Squid Game. I watched it on 1.25x speed with Korean audio and subtitles. It was alright. If I don’t watch it ever again, I’m fine with it. And I don’t really care if there’s a season two. When the show came up one time in the control room, I told my co-workers how I watched it. They all thought I was crazy, as they watched it in real time with the English dub (which is terrible). Not only could they not get over watching something with subtitles, they were shocked I’d watch something at higher speed. “I wouldn’t be able to follow it,” my executive producer told me. I shrugged. I didn’t know what to tell them. I only wish I could have fast-forwarded the awkwardness I feel when I’m the odd duck of the group.
I touched on this briefly yesterday, but I’ve been watching my content at faster speeds lately. I can watch a whole lot in the short amount of time between my after-work nap and pre-sleep work prep. I do this so often, that when I watch things at normal speed, it feels like it’s in slow motion. But I’m not going to stop as long as the option is available to me. Though I wonder what kind of effect this is having on me, and it’s only justifying my impatience. I can’t speed up anything going on in my life, whether that be weight loss, a work day, or motherhood, so am I really getting the full experience on anything else if I’m blowing right past it?
Circling back to Squid Game, I remember admonishing my co-workers for watching it in the English dub, not just because it’s terrible, but because they weren’t watching the filmmakers’ original version. They weren’t seeing what the crew intended them to see. But how can I say that when I’m not doing the same? I’m just speeding up time, which was also not the intention of the filmmakers. David Lynch famously didn’t add chapters to the DVD version of Mulholland Drive because he intended the viewer to finish it all in one sitting. But then again, I’m not a critic. I’m just here to hear a good story. Is it really worth it worrying about everyone else’s speedy habits before my own?
Maybe this is a cue to slow things down for a bit for once. I keep getting the feeling that I’m wasting time if I sit and watch an hour-long video. But maybe it’s not as deep as I’m making it. Maybe watching things play out in the moment once in a while can help me appreciate all that’s been made before me. I can’t accelerate a good thing. Maybe real time is best after all.