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February Focus: Day 11

I come from a long line of worriers. My mom’s mother was a top-tier worrier. She’d throw caution to the wind on everything. We’d want to go outside and play? “Stay where I can see you!” I want to watch a video tape. “Are you sure it’s not too scary?” I’m going to hang out in the basement. “Please, be careful of Poppie’s desk!” It never felt like my grandma was nagging us, though. I knew it always came from a place of love. Of course, that trickled down to my mom, who, as a kid, I felt was shielding me from too much going on in the world. I wanted to explore, to investigate and know things, and see for myself what was going on out there. But it always seemed like I’d get pushback about my curiosity.

There just were certain things I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to do because of how she thought it would affect me. I felt a lot of the time I was being pushed into a box, forced to obey someone else’s set of standards without even getting the chance to discover some of my own. I’m not sure what she thought was so scary out there, as I can remember her telling me she was only trying to protect me. And it wouldn’t surprise me at all if I end up carrying similar worry around when I’m raising my own child. But these days, the need to fret about anything seems is feeling less and less like a priority.

It was a quiet sort of day. I stayed up all night doing a lot of writing and working out, and ended up falling asleep around 10:45AM. I justified it by saying this is when I’d be taking a nap during the work week, so waking up around 2:30PM didn’t seem that far off base. All was low key, just like I like it, even as there’s reportedly an alien invasion out there. Well, that sure sounds neat and not at all troubling in the slightest.

The thing is, nothing about any piece of news bothers me anymore. I’m in the business of reporting. When I tease a story, I have to keep the viewer’s attention. “You won’t believe what was said.” “The shocking response, next.” While the viewer may have a sh*t-the-bed moment about it, I’m over here just shrugging my shoulders, asking what else is new under the sun? This doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge the very real and dangerous threats to our nation, and by extension, the world. I do. But I’m so confident in all of it working itself out, that I’m going to hang back and have a little fun with how I deliver this information. The more dramatic I get with my writing, the more you can be sure I know they’re over the target.

So sit back, relax, no worries necessary. It’s just wasted energy at this point. They’re trying so many different things to hide all the bad sh*t they’ve been up to. Things may look bleak in the meantime, but this is why you forget that and live in the moment instead. Do what feels right, avoid what doesn’t, even if it makes you look nuts to everyone else. But don’t worry if they all think you’re crazy. The road to peace in our natural lifetime is paved with kooks and storytellers. Someone has to be here to write it all down. Can’t trust a worry wart to always tell you the truth.

Swears: None whatsoever.

First Draft word count: 57,170
1,842 words written since Wednesday.

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