April Awakening: Day 28
The pieces all fit. It’s just the people who can connect them don’t want to. That’s how I feel lately. I see it all laid bare before me, obvious as the day is long, and I’m still being told it doesn’t matter. It’s almost insulting. I don’t know how much longer I can really last in this limbo, either. I’m getting increasingly worried about my health at work. I get a swab of unknown origin up my nose every single day in order to enter the building. Meanwhile, my sense of smell still has not even come close to coming back six months later. Correlation, causation, who knows. It’s still a concern to me. Yet, because of my “status,” it is I who am forced to obstruct my breathing in one single room I’m required to enter every day. Just one room. Surrounded by plexiglass. Nowhere else in the building do I have to do that, and no one who has the “correct” status needs to mask up anymore. And yet I’m the threat. I’m the one with a target on me. I know I helped put it there, but how on God’s green earth does this make any sort of sense in April 2022? They are forcing me to stay in the dark on their decisions, and any utterance of rebellion is drowned out in the endless reverberation of banging my head against a brick wall.
And yet. And yet…
I have often mused about a bombshell report or news story to end all news stories. I also think, and have seen this sentiment echoed through the metaverse, that we are indeed in the end times. Some days I believe that, others I don’t. But after what happened today, I really do believe that soon, I’m going to wake up and simply be in a new world. One that’s just on the other side of that tunnel. It’s not one of ‘order,’ it’s one for all of us, not just for those at the so-called “top.” Because they’re not there anymore. Their programming has stopped because too many changed the channel. And I hope they just hightail it out of here, go through the wormhole and fuck off to parts unknown forever. But the ramifications of their actions currently remain.
We’re not in a state of prospering anymore; it feels like they are actively trying to ruin us. Billions more going to a fight that’s not ours while economic growth stands to come to a halt thanks to a looming recession. How am I supposed to think any differently when I’m told to just smile and take the discrimination based on a ‘status’ that was not requirement to get my job? What is this, and what is driving people to stand for it?
And yet I feel calm. I could lose my job tomorrow and I wouldn’t feel any different. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want that to happen, but I’m setting my own stage for that long walk down the path. I know what I’m heading toward, because it’s what we’re all heading toward: The End. The Final Countdown. Something greater than we could ever have imagined. Dams can leak, but there’s always an initial burst that causes chaos, and could potentially flood us down the chute if we’re not careful.
So I do think the end is in sight. An end. Multiple ends. They could be anything, and they just might be. But you don’t have to worry about me. Perhaps I’m just closing one storybook to add to my anthology. I’ll just have to keep walking toward that bright light where I only see hope, no matter how much runoff I may be leaving behind.