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September Surrender: Day 16

What I’m Letting Go: Hardheadedness Among Us

I’m so tired. Not physically. I sleep a lot. I’m just world weary. The world weariest I’ve ever been ever. And I feel better off than a lot of the people out there. We’re all hurting in our own way. But as my mom used to say, if everyone threw their problems in a pot, you’d walk away with your own.

Some people won’t ever get this, though. That much is made clear in this day and age. When I used to go to protests in New York City during the Trump-era (they were plentiful), all that was really brought to the surface. I’d livestream with the intention of just showcasing what I thought, because most of the time I simply didn’t understand. There was one time I tried speaking with a girl there, who barely let me get my words out before accusing me of having “white privilege,” and entirely pre-judging my sentiments about what I thought was going on. Another time a man given a microphone on a stage simply screamed “F*ck the police,” despite the police just standing there the entire time. And a man in a MAGA hat told me he was screaming slurs at the liberals because they spoke bad about his mother. So the hardheadedness runs the gamut, that’s for sure.

As much as the libertarian side of me thinks she can win hearts and mind simply by talking, I realized that’s simply untrue. There are some out there who just cannot be swayed, not to “a side,” but even just to an agreement. To enlightenment. To the idea that not everyone with an opposing point of view is an enemy. Because there’s a real one out there, and it’s not your fellow countryman.

What I’ve Discovered: There is an Opposition

There’s a spy museum in Midtown. Spyscape. It had just opened before they shut everything down. I went one lazy Saturday last year. It was actually a pretty nifty experience. Interactive space for kids and adults alike. I got the feeling a lot of things may have been ‘surveilled’ but it’s all in good fun. We’re all on camera anyway, may as well tell them I’d be a good CIA agent too.

There was a big exhibit detailing the case of former FBI agent Robert Hanssen, who became a spy for Russia while working for the United States. I had never heard the story before. It was one full of drama an intrigue, and apparently they made a movie about it. They told it well at Spyscape. One of the titles on the wall was the above photo. When I saw it, I just laughed, since it might soon be out of date. Because based on all the stories that came out about the three-letter agencies and their collusion against Americans, wee might just have a whole new slew of traitors on our hands.

I consider myself a lover, not a fighter, but it was only today I realized that I actually do have an enemy. They’re called communists. They’re those who are purposefully destroying America for current reasons unknown. They’re not those who have an opposing viewpoint, they are treasonous douchebags who will sell you out to save their own skin. The only comfort I can take right now is knowing they are few where we are many. But it’s still an uphill battle in order to get them found out. But once we do, we can never allow them to even get a scintilla of power ever again. It’s going to take an act of God to weed them out, but the first step is acknowledging they’re even there. I’m not sure why it’s taken me this long to admit. Perhaps I’ve just seen too much insanity on Twitter to ignore it anymore. Also I know what movie I’m watching later. Not sure why it’s taken me this long to watch.

What I Hope to Find: A Real Democratic Process

I was so disturbed and disgusted by the display of Democratic New York Representatives in front of the Roosevelt Hotel Friday that I actually called a Congressman’s district office. Not my Congressman, mind you, who is unfortunately Jerry Nadler, but I did call one of them. I asked the first guy I talked to why the Congressman is putting so-called “asylum seekers” before Americans, and was told he’s not doing that. I said if he, quote, “stands in solidarity” with those who illegally entered the country, he’s doing exactly that. I wanted to know what he’s doing for Americans, and was fed talking points about how he helped push the Inflation Reduction Act into law, something our alleged president is on record saying it did nothing to actually lower inflation. I then asked if the Congressman has gone to the border since Biden took office, to which the aide said he had. So I asked him if he saw how wide open it actually is. “Well, the border isn’t as open as the media makes us think,” was the reply I got. As someone who has actually toured the southern border, this infuriated me.

“Have you been to the border?” I asked him. He paused and said he’s done work with agencies who are at the border. “I’ve been to the border,” I said, “Have you been to our southern border?” “I’ve been to ‘a’ border,” he began, before I cut him off and said “You’re avoiding my question.” He then cut me off, told me to have a nice day, and hung up on me. Again, incensed at this runaround I was getting, I redialed and got a different aid on the phone. This one was far more understanding, and let me talk for seven minutes about my concerns about New York City’s migrant crisis, and how I can’t trust a sitting Congressman who “stands in solidarity” with these people before Americans. At the end of the conversation, I said, “I love my city, I love my country, and I do not want to see them fail.” It was the truest statement I said all day, and he told me he’s in the same boat.

I know a lot of my efforts here were all in vain. I’m just a “lowly taxpayer”(my words) after all. But I said what I needed to say. I don’t need to keep that going. All I’m hoping for is some relief here. For some acknowledgement of the purposeful destruction perpetrated by those who took an oath to uphold the Constitution. Because they’re not doing it right now. And if New York elections weren’t so “fortified,” we could get people in there who might actually do it. Again, this is some act of God ish, but perhaps we’re not that far off from it. Maybe it’s closer than we think. And maybe we’ll get closer if I actually call my Congressman’s office. Though I need God on my side to not lose my shit at them and ask why they’d want to work for such a yutz to begin with.

Sometimes I’m way too American for my own good. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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