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June Renew: Day Twenty-Two

I’ve senior produced my show this entire week. It’s something I wasn’t particularly excited about. It’s hard work, it’s stressful, and I’m lazy. But I’m pretty much the expediter of all things news. It’s actually not been that bad and I’ve been doing a good job, though I’m fine with it not being a permanent role for me. It’s very strange for me to be a leader, as it doesn’t really come naturally to me. But I’m learning. It’s a good spot to be in, and apparently we’ve been killing it in the ratings. Or so I’m told, I still have no idea how to read them. Either way, I’ve got one more day of being the glue holding it all together before returning to our regularly scheduled planet.

I’ve often thought that may be a role I play in life unwittingly. It’s only natural for me to believe I’m the center of attention, especially when I’m an only child. I can’t help that. I can’t know what it’s like to spread out parental attention between siblings. I know I’m not the only one in the universe, but I do feel a certain gravitational pull to me. I did sort of write about this, but this goes beyond that. Some days I think that if I don’t have some kind of supernova event, then nothing else around me gets done. Like I may not see the entirety of my family in the same room again unless I have a wedding or something. And I don’t feel like I need a galaxy-sized party to tell the world I love someone. But that’s just me.

I know the best course of action for me is to just keep the sweet spirit I’ve been carrying this whole week. I’m the oldest one on the team at the moment, and people are looking up to me to lead them. I don’t expect that them to gaze at me with wonder, they just want to see someone bringing in good energy so that I may transmit it back out. There is a universe that lives inside all of us. Don’t let it get away by letting a black hole take over.

Words yesterday: 753

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