April Awakening: Day Twelve ☀️
It’s annoying living where I do right now. I hate being embarrassed of the place I am from. I’m no NYC transplant, I was born here. I didn’t “grow up” here, but was always a bit of a city child. I liked my New Jersey hometown, but there was always a desire to “get out there” and make it in the big city. Plus, we were close enough to Manhattan that weekend trips weren’t an unusual occurrence. So this city has meant a lot to me. I’m not sure when it stopped meaning something to everyone else.
Like I said, there was a happy childhood and fond memories of life in New Jersey. But by the time I was meant to spread my wings and fly to a life as an independent, mom and dad-funded college girl, I wanted nothing more than to leave the Garden State far behind. I always felt people from New Jersey could make fun of how shitty it is, but can I even really say I’m “from” there? Either way, I got my wish and transferred myself halfway across the country to attend Northwestern in Evanston, Illinois. Prairie State living was just alright, I was moreso happy to be out of Jersey. But by the time my senior year rolled around, I was desperate to go home and live on the east coast again. I suppose I’m just hard to please. But I also can’t deny the call in my heart to always return home, no matter how much I feel like it lets me down.
I’m sorry that it seems once a month I do these “New York Shitty” posts, but just when I think we’re making headway, the Mayor buys robots to patrol the subways and hires a Department of Education official as the first (rrgh) Rat Czar. Yep, a “Rat Czar.” As if this place wasn’t enough of a clown show. This isn’t a city, it’s a place where people pay extraordinary sums of money to live. High taxes, high prices, heightened crime risk. It sucks and there’s no way it doesn’t. But it’s where I am. I chose to come back here, remember?
I hope one day I’ll be able to report something positive about New York City that doesn’t come from my control. I can only do so much as one woman in the concrete jungle. There’s got to be a shift elsewhere to help me out. Shouldn’t I want for my leaders to do good? So goes New York, so goes the world. Don’t let me down, Manhattan. You’re my forever home.
One thought on “12) big city girl blues”