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February Focus: Day 15

One time during a commercial break, my host was talking to the guests on set about clothing. “I never look at price tags,” they said, “I just buy what I like.” At that time I was still building up my bank account, and felt privileged just to see a single comma in the balance. I remember thinking my host’s mindset was absolute goals, especially when it comes to clothing, as it seems I have expensive taste. But right now, I’m content being comfortable, and part of me isn’t going to apologize for what it took to get me here.

I’m certainly not “wealthy,” but I don’t want for anything. I’d take way more vacations if I had the disposable income to do so, but right now, the biggest ‘flex’ I’ve got is not checking prices at the grocery store. I just buy what I need and never worry about the price. This feels very ridiculous to say, especially as food is up 10.1% from last year, while food at home (groceries) is up 11.3%. People are hurting. Some people in America are making choices on whether to fill up their cars, or buy a loaf of bread. It’s a position no one in a healthy society should have to be in, and yet here we all are. I suppose I should count my blessings and thank God I lucked out enough in life to have a salary that affords me such necessities. Still, I worked hard for that, and I can’t discount that either.

Growing up, I lived in a very wealthy town. Million-dollar homes surrounded my family’s humble town house. There were a bunch of rich kids all over school, sure, but I never got the feeling anyone was flaunting their wealth. So there was an interesting dynamic in thinking this kind of wealth is attainable if I only worked for it. Well, now that I’m here, I’m at the point where I almost hate it. So many people out there are struggling and me, a total assh*le doesn’t have to worry? I’m a slave to the corporate think-machine, how am I any better than a single other shiny penny out there?

I’ve seen how people degrade and sell out for just a little bit of cash. It’s becoming very apparent on whose been bought, and who is for sale. No dollar amount is worth your immortal soul, and I think far too many Americans are willing to keep bending over for a little taste of cash. Couldn’t be me. Will never be me. I tried it, and it’s not a good look on me. Anyone could make the case that I’m still doing that as a corporate worker, but it’s only until I attain my true life’s journey and work only for myself. The barter system still feels like the most natural thing: Here’s my work, now pay me. I’m lucky in the sense that I’ve found the thing that’ll get me there. Now I just need a little more time to work on building my nest egg so I may teach these valuable skills to the next generation.

My dad always said put the money in your pocket first. That means work hard for it. No one’s going to hand it to me for nothing. We’ve all got to get our bag. I just hope my fortune comes from favoring the bold.

Swears: None

Writing: None. Help me, I’m stuck.

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