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February Focus: Day 8

I’ve done seven straight days of workouts. I’m doing that thing again where I can’t go to sleep unless I fulfill my goals of the day. I went to sleep at midnight last night because I stayed up late watching the ridiculous spectacle that was the State of the Union. I had to, this may be the final SOTU on record if things go my way. Anyway, I’m procrastinating on it all, but I’m getting it done, and I’m actually enjoying the workouts this time around. It doesn’t feel like a slog, I can actually feel my body getting stronger. I feel leaner and tighter, and I’m wondering what other changes my body stands to make the more I keep at it.

It was cold today, but not too cold. I had on one of my favorite dresses that’s getting to be too big on me, but still fits nice all the same. I kept my jacket open as my heels clicked down the street; each step I took felt deliberate and calculated. I wanted the eyes on me. I wanted to show off. I almost needed to, just to let myself remember what it’s like to feel proud of my appearance. With each step and sway of my hips, I felt like I mattered; like this city had nothing on me, and I was finally showing it who’s boss. But here’s the all-important question: Will I be strong enough to keep walking with this mindset long after the challenge ends?

The answer is: I think so. I’ve already made some changes to how I do things. I barely smoke pot anymore, I haven’t had a drink all year, and the routine I’ve fallen into never feels like a chore. These feel like things I can just add into my daily life and not have to justify them for a month. If I’m seeing results, why stop now? Why not keep strutting my stuff and possibly look better along the way?

I think a major key here is to take things a little at a time. Just a little exercise goes a long way, as does a little bit of storytelling a day. It’s all just a part of coming into my own, to find self-awareness in the mind, as well as the body. I have to remember that not only am I getting older, I’m getting wiser, too. How I once acted in the past doesn’t necessarily have to follow me down the street and into the future. I can keep going, keep stepping up, one foot in front of the other to get me to where I’m meant to be. It’s a moving target, but with the right walk cycle, I should have no problem landing firmly on my feet.

If only I could start this race earlier. Maybe I’d get some decent sleep around here.

Swears: $1.00
One f-word when I messed up my grocery list, said BS talking to my dad.

First Draft Word Count: 55,328
510 words written today.


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