29) nothing new under the sun

My December to Remember II: Day Twenty-Nine

News: JPM sued by U.S. Virgin Islands for knowingly facilitating Jeffery Epstein’s sex trafficking payments.
Southwest expects to return to normal operations by Friday, promises to reimburse affected customers.
U.S. to require Covid tests from any traveler age 2 and up from China beginning January 5th.
Andrew Tate arrested for human trafficking violations.

I’m struggling to get something down today. I have no idea what to say here. I don’t even know what I could say that would make any sort of sense today. I kept thinking it was Friday all day. I’ve never worked this hard for the weekend. Or for this year to just be over and done with.

It’s not that it was a bad year. It’s just time to move on. I’ve stopped hoping for any semblance of accountability from the horrible people who ruin the world, and I just want the right thing to be done going forward. I’ve seen so much wrong done this year, been embroiled in my own controversies and heartaches. And so? What else is new? What more can any of us possibly go through that we haven’t already seen?

Oh, good.

I’m tired of being that person who believes hitting a certain threshold will change things. What does it matter when the clock turns over to midnight on January First? What else will be different? And who’s to say our new year is the actual correct one? Jewish people think it’s the year 5780 or something. Chinese people have Gung Hay Fat Choy at the end of January. Our fiscal years begin in July so technically it’s already 2023 for some businesses. The only guarantee I have is the sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening. That’s it. That’s all I know and all I want to know right now.

The only time we have is our time on the planet. I told my co-worker, who, in her words, is impatient to buy a house and have a baby, that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to. We’re only guaranteed today and possibly tomorrow if we’re lucky. She told me I was right, which make me feel good. This is only a recent revelation, my next step in settling down with who I am, since no one else is at the moment. Why anticipate something that isn’t even here yet, especially as I’ve see it all before?

You ain’t shit.

I don’t even know if what I’m saying makes sense. I’m just here like I’ve always been here. The world keeps turning while dumb shit keeps happening. That’ll all go on until it doesn’t. I’ve made my peace with it. No blackpills here, no despair. But no more being an oracle, either. I’ve always believed anything can happen at any time, but none of it really concerns me. I’m just a speck in the universe, and a galaxy within my own self..

There’s a lot more things working behind the scenes than any of us can even conceive. God is the director, so I have no problem putting my trust in that. Here on Earth though, it’s best to take comfort in the banality of it all right now. Because it could all change at any given moment. For now, I sit content with getting at least one final sunset before the dawn. Only if I’m meant to see it, of course.

Catch me on my serenity kick sometime.

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