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My December to Remember 2: Day Twenty-Six

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I ate a whole-ass bar of psylocibin chocolate on Saturday. Not all at once, I spread it throughout the day. It was my first time really delving deep into the world of psychedelics, and I gotta say I enjoyed the experience. The bar might have been a bit on the older side, as I kept it in my fridge for a good six months. I had no ‘trip’ per se, like the walls didn’t melt and I didn’t see things that weren’t there, but I looked in the mirror and saw my pupils were indeed dilated, and the sparkle of my Christmas lights glowed a little brighter. I just felt good. Happy. I felt more in the moment than I have been in a long time. And I concluded that this is what it’s like being ‘awake,’ not ‘woke.’

Oh baby.

I’m not saying everyone should do this. I would like my mother to try it, as I think it might calm her mind and give her a sense of who she is back. But I do think it’s important to find clarity in these trying times, especially as we unravel the absolute nightmare we’ve gone through the past two-and-a-half years, and perhaps for much longer than that.

The “woke” movement always seemed very phony to me. I think it’s important to be aware of social issues, but when all you’re doing is saying the same thing over and over again with absolutely no nuance behind it, I just cannot take you seriously. So I never did. But I was always there to observe. And I still am. I just want to bring educated opinions along with it. And the only way to get there is to find ways to wake up from the nightmare they’re only pretending is the norm.

How they want you to sleep.

It’s always been important to me to be individualistic. I never wanted to go along with the crowd, nor did I want to lead it. I’d rather be in a room with my pen and paper, answering all the questions people bring me. And if I could do that as a career, then sign me up. But I’m realizing just how hard it is to ‘wake people up’ to the nonsense we’ve been fed for so long. I always think my words are enough, but they aren’t. The psyops have run far deeper than I ever wished they would, and I think it’ll take an Act of God to bring the majority into the light.

But in the meantime, I can always wish and hope and pray for that miracle. Because I see it every day. People are tired of what’s “woke” and they don’t want to hear the lectures. I’m all about people going their own way, even if they espouse views I disagree with. At least I’ll know who to avoid in my waking life. In the meantime there’s other small changes to make. Stop eating processed food. Buy grassfed meat. Use flouride-free toothpaste and paraben-free deodorant. Take iodine drops to decalcify the pineal gland, get a shower filter to sift out the toxins. Be free, be natural, and keep your eyes wide open. Cover your laptop camera with tape, delete TikTok, and tell Alexa to fuck off.

Look, it’s me.

I know I can’t reach everyone, and that’s fine. We need some diversity in life. Just not the kind that’s corporately manufactured. Nature can come back if we let it. And I need to let myself remember that I’m not the only one who feels this way. There are plenty who’ve awakened to the new life we deserve. It’s just proving harder to find in a place like New York City. Maybe something will occur that’ll prove me wrong, but it’s becoming clearer to me that it might be time to go soon. This place used to be the City that Never Sleeps, but now, it’s the city that’ll never wake. Not as long as those five letters and two numbers still step on Lady Liberty’s throat.


I don’t know. Perhaps people are awakening more than I give them credit for. It’s so easy to forget that not everyone reaches the same conclusion you do at the same time. I just want whatever I’m feeling to reflect in other people. To have them find the inner light for themselves, however that may manifest. Maybe the only thing I have to offer right now are my words. There may be something else I can do down the line, but for now, this is good enough.

Waking up is hard to do, especially when the bed has provided nothing but comfort. But comfort can only take you so far, and can smother you if you’re not careful. I know I’d rather wake up on the right side of the bed after a good night’s sleep where all three eyes can rest. It’ll take a clear mind to get us to where we all deserve to be.

Always ready for a brighter morning.

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