June Renew: Day 19

Weight: 234.0

I need to stop ordering delivery. All the food tastes like nightmares to me. I don’t know if it has to do with my anosmia or what, but there’s a distinct foul taste that lingers toward the top of my palate. It’s like it travels from the back of my nasal cavity, right to the root of my tongue. It just tastes gross. It’s most pronounced when I drink soda. It’s putrid. It’s like acid grasping and gulping at me, yet I still reach for a can most days. Y’know, to cool down.

And I just don’t seem to realize it’s slowly killing me.

Jerks online who’ve conquered (or never had) any kind of food issues are quick to say things like, “Eat less, move more” in a relatively haughty manner. “Put down the fork” is another good one. Hell, I’ve said things like this, thinking I’ve gotten past my food issues. And yet no matter how far I think I’ve come, I still run back to the bad food every time I get a craving. But if I’m starting to be physically turned off by the bad foods, when is the day I shelve them for good?

I can safely say I’ll never pick up another cigarette. That addiction is dead and buried. And I can safely say I’ll never eat specifically McDonald’s ever again. I heard a grotesque report about it, which I don’t know if it’s true or not, but the thought of it disgusted me so much that I can never even think about eating it ever again. Same with Wendy’s. I had a chicken sandwich a few months back that was so nauseating that I’ll never feel the need to go back. And I’m just wondering when that same option is finally 86’d off the rest of my menu.

I’ve swallowed a lot of shit in my life. I’ve let a lot of people trample all over me and my feelings for far too long. And I don’t need to take that out on my temple anymore. I only get one body, it does me no good to keep demolishing it with crap over and over again. So maybe whatever light switch came on for smoking and McDonald’s, maybe it’s coming for the rest of it now. I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I’ll take what I can get. Bon Appetit, to your health.

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