(15) down the middle

April Awakening: Day 15

Sometimes, just when I think I’m over the hump, something happens to make me realize I’m not. It’s the midpoint of the month and all this clarity has just caused me to think about how real it all is for me. How everything I thought was impossible is entirely possible. And not only that, is also inevitable. I was never “over it,” I just evolved with how it’s evolving in and of itself. I haven’t wasted my time. I haven’t let all this happen for nothing. What I want is coming, as long as I stay the course, and remain steady as she goes. And I don’t need to make it harder than it needs to be. I can cry it out when I need to, which I sure did today. No shame, nothing wrong with that. It just seems to be something I so sorely needed. This just feels like what I need to do right now. I can take other people’s advice on what to do next, but ultimately, I’m going to keep on the path I’ve already chosen long ago. No matter how dramatic I may be over it. No need to veer, it’s all going according to my plan. I really do believe that. I can see what lies on either side of the road as I walk right down the middle, and both are still viable. But I know what’s waiting for me at the end of the line. The life I could have lived on the other side of the street will always stick with me in spirit. Who knows, perhaps I already lived it and it’s time for something new in this life. But I’m right where I need to be. I’m somewhere over there between the land and the sky. I suppose we all are. So I guess I’ll just keep walking. We’re halfway there.

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