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My December to Remember: Day 20

I don’t know what else to talk about. I cannot escape all the Covid talk. It’s seriously the only thing on the forefront of everyone’s minds. In this city. On the internet. At my job. It’s mind-numbing. Testing sites on the corner. Reports of cases rising. Just cases, not hospitalizations or deaths. My last few entries were all about the new seasonal flu. This is supposed to be my December to remember and I’m making it all about this stupid virus we just can’t seem to break up with.

Covid is like the hellacious girlfriend we cart around everywhere, and haven’t found the balls to break up with yet. She’s such a mess. She hasn’t done a thing for anyone but herself in months, and yet we stick around. She’s loud and rude and doesn’t get you at all, yet we can’t seem to just cut the cord. Why? Because we love to just dip our wick into that hot mess over and over again. Corona is such a dirty girl. She gives great head cold. But come on. It can’t be that good, now can it? Is it really all about that for you at this point? Why stick around for the few moments of pleasure when the life around it is just making you miserable and sick?

There’s plenty of other things I want to talk about, but it’s like I’ve got to clear out all these Covid cobwebs before we can proceed. I don’t ever want to hear “because of Covid” in the lexicon ever again. This whole thing is over to me, but it’s clearly not to everyone else. The New York Governor wants to allocate $65 million to enforce all these Covid mandates that just simply have not worked. And at this point, there’s nothing you’ll say that can convince me people don’t wish to keep the panic extended until they feel one hundred percent safe again. You want the easy way out that will keep your needs satiated, no matter the collateral damage done everywhere else. People feel like they need this pandemic in order to be a part of their identity. It’s sad they’ve not realized once you see outside yourself, you’ll find there’s far more important things than a relationship that just isn’t’ working anymore.

I did tell you yesterday that I had a piece ready to go, but I’ve shelved it. I’ve decided I would like to release it, but I won’t say when. It’s my own version of the breakup that I need in order to move on. I can detach from the Covid talk, especially as I’ll be confined to my home until further notice. I’m the happy wanderer here. I’m the one not living a lie, pretending Corona and I are very happy together when all she does is give me a headache and makes my nose run in anger.

I can’t do it. I can’t fake it. I can’t be in a relationship where I feel the man wants to be anywhere else but with me. And we’re all acting like a bunch of fibbers. We’re pretending to love something when what we really love is the rush we get virtue-signaling about it. It’s so phony. I’ll Holden Caufield all over this bitch about it. Because it’s done. I’m breaking up with you, Corona. Other things exist outside of you. How quickly we forget that we don’t have to make it harder on ourselves that we already have. We need a break. Once and for all.

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