9) content reloaded

My December to Remember: Day 9

I never really like to call myself a “fan” of something. I enjoy what I like, I discard what I don’t. This is also strange because I absolutely don’t mind saying I’m “obsessed” with something. Like old VH1 Celebreality TV shows. I could talk about them all day. Part of me wants to jump ship and become a YouTuber again so I can just review and rewatch these things I love over and over again. I could create content about things again. It’s entirely possible. A door just opened up. Because I booted up the Sex and the City reboot this afternoon, and my fingers immediately got to tapping.

But this is not about my thoughts on And Just Like That. At least not right now. Because, believe me, I’ve got a lot to say about just what the hell they did to a once-great series. It’s cringe and weird and set in a New York City I want no part of knowing. But that’s another story for another time. I rediscovered something today. The inner ranter made an appearance today after lying dormant for a very, very long time.

I’ve spoken about my YouTube past before. Getting on camera and talking about things I don’t like used to feel like second nature. I’d fire up my webcam and just talk, whether I had taken notes on the subject or not. And it felt nice to finally feel the desire to recapture the magic of broadcasting to a world wide web again. Something made me want to put a camera on my face and just bark and caw about how crappy I found the thing. I mean, I didn’t. Too lazy. I’m not camera ready. But maybe I will be soon. Today was the first time the serious thought of rebooting myself actually made sense.

I’m happy to do this daily blogging, as it keeps the noggin joggin’. All I want to do is create content when I say I’m going to. But there’s got to come a time when I rewrite my own character and step into a new life as something else. It’s possible. And I think today is the first step in that. All it took was a show that literally made me pause with rage with how dumb it was.

I think there’s just a part of me that expects whatever idea I have to pan out perfectly the first time I try executing it. And as I’ve learned, that’s most certainly not the case. But when it’s something I actually enjoy doing, like ranting and raving and criticizing creatively, I have more of an inclination to chase that. To know I’ve got to write and produce something that’s coming directly from me. It may not be perfect (just like AJLT), and it may seem weird and creepy at times, (also like AJLT), but it will be my creation. My contribution. Actual content I’ll feel proud to show off. At last.

Maybe what I needed was the actual inspiration, coming from a place that doesn’t feel like an obligation. Just my own passion coming forth and finally manifesting into something that I know I can do. We’ll see. If they can greenlight a reboot no one needed, does that mean the world can handle something no one expected?

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