2) the forward path

My December to Remember: Day 2

People don’t think like I do. I know that. No one has my mindset. No one has your mindset. Everyone’s different. I know that. But I have trouble believing it. Even when I’m directly confronted with it. It just seems so unbelievable to me, even if it’s staring me right in the face. The disagreement. The feeling that is so far from mine. What do I do when I see it? What do any of us do?

I know what I could do. I could get mad. I could throw insults. I could act haughty and tell people to “get on my level” in so many venomous words. But why do that? It seems the more boring choice now. There’s no need to attack the person. There’s no need to attack period. All I have to do is say my ideas. My counterpunch is my thoughts, told as straightforward as I possibly can. Why would I do anything other than that?

But people do. And that’s what’s causing me frustration. It feels like everywhere I turn, every chance I have to reach out and express myself, I’m put up against a wall. It feels like a weird spot where I know people agree with me, but the only response I’m getting is from those who disagree. They’re there to tell me how wrong I am without acknowledging anything I just said. And I’m just wondering when the time comes where I’ll actually hear the agreement. Or at least the concession that what I said is valid.

I just feel a little pigeonholed right now. The things I want to talk about can only be shared with someone special. I don’t have it in me to command an audience anymore. It’s not the goal. The goal is to get out what I need to say one way or another. It doesn’t matter if people follow it. My path is forward. There’s no looking back, and for once, it doesn’t feel like a painful detachment from the past. It’s just what’s needed right now. What I need to do. What I want to do.

There never has to be an end to things, it’s just stepping over into another plane of existence. I think we’re just about ready to do so, wouldn’t you agree? Only when we truly let go of the path behind us can we actually begin to make progress. I’ll get over my hurt feelings. I always do.

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