It’s fall. The end of September. The third quarter of 2021 is coming to a close. It’s all gone. It’s dead. It’s over. And it’s entirely fine. The writing’s on the wall at this point, there’s nothing else I can do but wait for it to reveal itself.
I’m not in a bad place. I’m in a very good place. All will unfold as it should. But damned if that shroud of darkness isn’t trying to creep past the foot of my bed. Slither in next to me. Take up residency inside and never let go. Something still wants to stifle me, to press the cholorformed cloth to my face before shoving me out of sight. I’m whisked off the stage, thrown behind the curtain until I collapse in a sea of velvet. And I can’t get out. The cloth is just too heavy. My words will forever catch in the fabric before anyone can hear them. The evil wants to keep me locked away, squirreled and hid until they make the choice on whether or not to let me out.
I won’t let that happen. Not on my watch.
I used to be scared of the unknown. It used to terrify me that I may not have a say in what comes next. I’m more used to laying out each and every carefully constructed platter, knowing I have an entire array of dishes to choose from. My options are endless because I made them that way. I never wanted to consider a possible new path that was at present unknown to me. No off-the-menu dish or uncharted territory to explore. I needed to know it all. To have all the lights on so no cloaked figure could emerge from the shadows. He’d have no chance. I can see you in my closet. I know just where to shine my light. But what I’m coming to realize that no one tells you what happens when you run out of batteries. And believe me, there will come a time when you’re completely without power, and no possible way to get the generator flowing again.
But now I think is the perfect time to shuffle about in the dark. To reach out and grab whatever my hands may touch. To go with the flow as long as I feel safe enough to do so. To take myself to places I wasn’t sure I’d ever go. A faraway land for an adventure with pleasant strangers, or something as simple as being in someone’s bedroom. I just have a feeling we’re all going to be in the dark soon. The lights will cut without warning, and we won’t know what to do. We’ll all be under the cover of darkness, begging for a little bit of light to enter our chasm. To help us guide the way out of the dark place.
And it’ll only be when we realize there’s no way out, will we realize we can create our own power source. If we work together, we can most certainly drive ourselves to salvation. Anyone who wants to help can come along. They’re your brothers in arms. They’ve got your back. They’ll hear your cries and give you a hand through the pitch black. That’s my hope, anyway. It sounds perfect to me, no matter how many scrapes and bumps I come out with on the other end of the tunnel.
I’ve been alone in the dark for so long, what’s a few more nights without my flashlight?