(9) fighting the sleep, awakened to the dawn [june renew]

I slept the day away. I just wanted to shut my eyes for a moment and two hours later, I woke up on the couch. I guess that’s fine. I guess my body needed it. Maybe my mind did too. I’m learning that it’s okay to slow down. Sometimes I feel all this unnecessary pressure from everyone else that I have to be doing something at all times. I mean, there’s absolutely things I should be doing. Even things as simple as running a vacuum over my carpets. They seem such difficult tasks when I’m this tired.

This is an exhausting time. Nothing new. Things have been exhausting since the last time the entire world tilted and exposed whatever new axis we’ve been on for the past howevermany years. You could pinpoint something in each past decade that has impacted life as we currently know it. It’s only right for us to be downright tired of it all.

I don’t think it’s farfetched anymore to think that some creepy, unknown faction has been in charge this whole time. There’s just some group that seems to get away with all the evil in the world. And our scope on who exactly is to blame is getting narrower and narrower. Everyone in their own way seems to be predicting the ending of something. Whatever that may be lies within that person. But it’s all coming to a head either way. Something has awoken and is waking up in us all. Reality may not be what you originally thought, and you can find more behind the vail the more you listen to what people have to say. But this all has to happen with a clear mind and an open heart. And that’s a tall order for some of us.

There’s never a reason to rush anyone. You can’t force anyone to do anything. And those who want to try somehow think abrasiveness and bullying is the way to get there. Well, I submit it’s not working anymore. People seem way more awake than They previously thought. It’s a slow burn, and it takes us a lot longer to wipe the sleep out of our eyes. But it’s coming. It’s calmness and clarity all at once. The process will happen no matter what I’m feeling. So what if I napped longer than I wanted to? At least when I lay my head on the pillow, I can do so with a clear conscience. I can’t say the same for all those about to pay for what they’ve done.