(8) job almost well done [june renew]

I’m not a pro at anything. I’m just good at a lot of different things. It’s not a bad position to be in life, but I’d love to find the one thing that I’m great at. It’s nice when people find that for themselves.

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube content where people either create or restore things. Antiques stripped of their lead paint and sandblasted until it shines like new. An ASMR video of carefully constructed miniature pots and pans sets fit for a custom-built dollhouse. It’s even fun to watch guys power vacuum all the crud out of a musty old carpet. But it occurs to me that people are just doing what they love to do, and monetizing it for your entertainment. In order to create such compelling content, one has to really have a passion for what they do. Otherwise, it’d be such a huge waste of time and effort, all because you crave the almighty dollar. If you love what you do, it’ll never be work. And the cash will just inexplicably flow.

What these videos all have in common is I’m watching people working with their hands. I don’t work with my hands. I work with my fingers. They’re magic fingers. They have to be, in some respect, in order to do what it is I do. I tell you the news. I encourage you to ask questions about the biggest stories out there. I promise you have good people on the inside who are not out to tell you how to think. Or how to feel about these issues, either. There’s just the truth. And I aim to find it.

Maybe my profession lies within the power of my word. I like what it is I do, but I’m getting the inkling that it’s time to take it to the next level. Work on the spoken word. Figure out how to get my point across. Discover the news and tell you what I saw, and show you through a recorded means. These all sound like good ideas, and it feels more and more attainable as the days go on.

I just have to strive for clarity again.

I’ve fallen back into the ‘loophole’ portion of things, even though I know there’s no real reason for me to be. I just wanted to. I had a rough day. My bills are paid, baby. Lay off. And then I make the excuses for myself. And that’s no good, especially when I find such good stuff down here on earth. But I knew in the back of my mind that I’d hiccup like this here and there. Perhaps if I feel this pull again, I should remember what I’m working toward. I’m making good money now, but I could make more. And I wouldn’t have to be attached to a corporation in order to do it. I’m not ungrateful. I think the people I know in there would understand. There’s all different kinds of workers out there. Some are on board, others are in their own boat. And it’s up to you to discover where it is you can thrive.

Plus, wine exists. What better way to use one’s hands than lifting a nice red up to your lips.

It’s okay. I’m not mad at myself. I hope you’re not mad at me either. My job is done here today. Who doesn’t sometimes need to unwind after work? Tuesdays are the new Fridays. Let’s own it.