will you hand me my battle fatigues

I’ve always hated the “us versus them” mentality. I never really wanted it to exist. I had always wished we’d all find some way to get along, even if that means finding a multitude of disagreements along the way. What I never considered was just who “them” was on the other side of it. Maybe I’ve just been ignorant to what some people are really like. I thought everyone had some good in them. But maybe they don’t. Maybe there are really evil people out there who will do anything to stay on top. They will crush and kill all that’s in their path as long as they can sit pretty on their marble pedestals, never having to take responsibility for all the horrible shit they’ve done to get there.

If you’re asking me to fight the battle between us and those people, I’ll gladly hop on board. But the key to really getting me to stick around is asking me to join you in this mission.

You don’t always have to be in the game to support it. You don’t need to be a direct mainline to the funding by buying shares of a stock. You can watch the momentum, feel it for yourself, and hand out suggestions where you need to. You have your point position on the battlefield. No one does, or could do what you do. You fulfill a purpose no matter how big or small. And when we’re going after a common enemy, the “us” has no choice but to swell with jobs, create openings and positions where there weren’t any before. The “them” is just so abhorrent we need all the manpower we can get to stop it once and for all. If that means naming new spots for people, even if all they act as is a simple morale booster, it’ll be worth it when shit really starts hitting the fan.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I’ve been living in the “us versus them” mentality for some time, despite not wishing for it to be so. I’ve always felt like I was fighting an invisible enemy, something that lay in wait out there to find the right moment to strike me down. I never wanted it to win. I’d fight tooth and nail to make sure it didn’t wrap its tentacles around me and squeeze the life out of me. I always knew I’d find my escape to triumph and live another day. I just never thought there’d be anyone by my side as I did so. I always felt unwanted or unneeded in this equation, like a singular electron forever doomed to encircle beyond the reach of a nucleus. I’d watch from the outskirts as the boys celebrate their wins with cigars and slaps on the shoulder. It’s a curse of being an only child. You never think anyone hates you, but you always wonder why your invitation to join the group seems to get lost in the mail.

I sense a very distinct version of unity is on the horizon. And the fear surrounding it slowly starting to dissipate. “They” have been weakened. “Their” game is far too obvious now. “We” see exactly what “they” are doing and “we” aren’t standing for it anymore. The entire world can see just how corrupt the whole system really is, made even funnier when it’s being shown its own ass after being thoroughly kicked. It truly is a sight to behold. And even though we’ll laugh and cheer once the evil is finally vanquished, am I really going to be going home all alone when the afterparty is over?

Sometimes I fear I will be. I’ve got a lot of upcoming battles to fight and I don’t want to fight them alone. I’m still worried about something that’s about to give us all the wakeup call we never asked for, but so sorely needed. Maybe those I consider “them” might actually be waking up to it all now. Maybe one person acted as my “them” this whole time. Someone to fight with. Someone to be angry at without examining where it came from. It got old after a while. I’d rather find things I like about a person rather than focus on why they’re making me mad. It’s not as bad as what “they” did. Are doing. Would still be doing if it weren’t the wrench “we” threw in the system.

I know which team I’d like to be on for the real battle. I made my choice a long time ago. I’m seeking what I haven’t found yet, and I don’t mind putting it on hold until we’ve fought through this long night.

But I could be waiting a very long time. We’ve only barely begun to fight.

Hold me.

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