Ready for more

I don’t pretend to know it all. Sometimes ideas and feelings we have can slip through our fingers, no matter how tightly we’re holding on. Things can always change in an instant, even if we’re sitting pretty, wrapped up in our security blankets. You can’t ever know what’s going on inside another person’s head, even those who we feel are closest to us. So if there’s a misstep, it’s best not to dwell or get angry, since you have absolutely no control over anyone but yourself.

A lot of the time it feels like I’m waiting around for something miraculous and wonderful to hit me. And that when the moment comes for me to get what I’m seeking, I’ll know exactly what to say and it will be perfect and momentous and just what I’ve always dreamed. But that’s not how things always go, does it? Nothing is ever as perfect as what goes on in your mind. Sometimes it’s better, but that’s a rare thing. The hope is that we all experience that rarity at least once in our lives, and, God willing, it’s something that is well worth the wait.

At one time, I was complaining about how much I was waiting. It was too hard to get through the day because I didn’t understand why I didn’t have what I wanted right then and there. As a Taurus, I’m supposed to be naturally patient, but this seems to be one astrological trait that I miss the mark on every time. So my anger and frustration would stay right at the surface, and I wouldn’t let it clear away until I saw a semblance of what I was after. Now, I know how much better it is to float on that sea of placidity rather than navigate choppy waves of displeasure when things don’t go my way.

Believe me, I’m ready for what I want. I feel my heart get so full it’s liable to burst from my chest at any moment. I’ve had these feelings in the past, but thankfully they’re no longer coupled with anger, sadness, or longing. It’s freeing to feel so ready, and the waiting no longer is a daunting task. Though there are times my anxiety spikes and I wonder why I don’t have exactly what I want, I have to remember there’s a lot more for me to do than to sit around wallowing in self pity. That gets awfully tiring.

When we discover what we’re after and find something that means everything to us, the rest of the world can sometimes evaporate. But with every weather cycle, a little rain must also fall. And a little light shower never hurt anyone. So I’ll be here in my boat, ready, willing, and excited to experience everything life has to offer. I just came prepared and packed an umbrella, just in case the tides decide to turn.