No matter how good you feel about yourself, there’s always going to be someone who has a problem with you. And it’s not that they’ll be outwardly cruel or mean to you about it, but there’s subtle hints you’ll be able to pick up on that let you know people are tired of your shtick. At least for the time being.

Here on the internet, pettiness sells. As long as we can be snarky and ‘clap back’ at someone in the most obnoxiously hilarious way, we’ll receive all the praise and adulation necessary in order to get our blue checkmarks on Twitter. But, as with anything, there’s a limit. When we’re known for being the ‘rant’ person or the one with the ‘sickest burns,’ it becomes a part of your identity that is hard to shake.

For some of us, our default is the negative. We see someone wearing a lipstick that doesn’t fit their face and we judge them. Their outfit sucks? Judge. They said something stupid? Judge some more. It can happen to the best of us, no matter how nice we try to be. It’s just that we tend to keep these nastier judgments to ourselves, unless there’s someone in the immediate vicinity we trust enough to be petty with. But sometimes, on the days you want (or need) to be petty, you’ll find that no one has time to listen to your whining. And in this day and age, people aren’t as shy to call you out on your nonsense.

It can be a humbling experience to hear people close to you lob criticism your way. Critiques are not bad, they can actually help us grow, if we’re willing to listen and absorb what is being said. And if someone who you’ve bared your true feelings to is the one on the giving end of it, you’d better pay attention, no matter how much it may sting.

We all have moments where we need to be petty and we need others to agree with our judgments. But we’re learning to pick and choose our words more carefully. After all, actions have consequences, as highlighted by basically all of 2017. It’s up to you to decide who gets to see that petty side of you. Is it more fun to share that with the entire internet, or the one who knows the real you, both inside and out?

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